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Foe translations - feedback plz by KupoGames Foe translations - feedback plz by KupoGames

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:iconmrgamesalot:
MrGamesAlot Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Me: "Blood bat"; Brain: "Blood bat".
Me: "A bloodsucking enemy which"; Brain: "A bloodsucking enemy witch".
One tiny misread bit and it completely changes what the enemy is, I was really confused for a second there.
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:iconsonicrainboom706:
SonicRainBoom706 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013
English/Spanish

Beholder: "Observador" or just Beholder

Ice/Fire/Thunder Bit: Roca/Cristal de Hielo/Fuego/Trueno

Clays can be ClayMan or Clay Soldier

Defender: "Guardian" or "Centinela"

Friend Dog: Perro Amigable

(Portuguese) Drill Bot: "Robo-Taladro" or "Robo-Broca"

"Lombriz" should be "Gusano"

Frozen Eye: Ojo de Hielo

Angel Eye: Ojo Celestial

Sky Monolith: Monolito Celestial

Undying Monolith: "Monolito Oscuro/Tumba/No-Muerto"

Swordslinger: Spadachin

"duende" (sprite) could be "espiritu"

Electric Wraith: Fantasma electrico

Laser Turret: "Cañon Laser" or "Torreta Laser"

God Cat: "Gato Dios" or just "Dios Gato"
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:iconlexen-rp:
Lexen-RP Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
For the Beholder, the french translation will be "Observeur".
For the Sky Monolinth, i think "Monolithe Céleste" is better.

Otherwise, it really great.
Reply
:iconvicboraang:
VicBorAang Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Writer
(Brazilian guy here)
I have to say, the translations are perfect...

Who did the translations?
was it you?
Reply
:iconkupogames:
KupoGames Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
Nah, just some random fans.
Reply
:iconsafira-the-panther:
Safira-the-Panther Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Frech lady here!
Sooo about the translations:

*Thunder bird's description should be "Un oiseau qui utilise des attaques de foudre et de vent. A une grande esquive." It wasn't really wrong, but using "et" several times in a row makes the description sound like a kid is talking, since kids like to chain "et" in their sentences ^^
*Same thing goes for the Big green bush it should be "Une énorme version du buisson vert. Utilise des attaques de terre et de poison. Peut donner
des buffs aux autres ennemis ainsi qu'invoquer des buissons verts et des chats soldats."
*About the wolf dog, there is a minor typo. protêger should be protéger.
*About the black dragon... "cave" means cellar/wine cellar, you should replace "cave" with "caverne".
* The Ancient Monolith's description is a tiny bit messed up, it should be "Un monolithe d’une époque oubliée. Utilise des attaques de foudre extrêmement puissantes et peut
défendre d’autres ennemis." exactly the same goes for the Sky and Viking Monoliths, the word's order should be this way.

Onwards to read the equipment and skills ones now! *fades away*
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:icondaikenkini:
Daikenkini Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
It's me again, the guy who said the German translation was boring. You might be right with the fact there is no need to exceed basic German here, however the language has huge potential for offering epic synonyms, especially for the words given. Might be because of its history and place of origin.

Also, German does not always sound pretty corny when translated. Sorry for making you said. Let me describe myself as a huge defender of German and Dutch.

lhmh mentions really neat solutions by the way.
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:icondaikenkini:
Daikenkini Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
*sad

Sorry I am new to Deviantart.

What I wanted to add is that many commas were left out. Please add them, people nowadays fail at placing them correctly. Which is something what makes me sad.
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:iconkupogames:
KupoGames Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
I don't disagree, but I don't really want to spend too much time on translations.
Reply
:icondaikenkini:
Daikenkini Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
I understand this completely. I guess I missed out my chance of contributing to the translations.

On a side note, I'm just one more guy on "can't wait" status. Keep up the fantastic work but give it all the time it needs!
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:iconniwatorinatsukawa:
NiwatoriNatsukawa Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
Heh, you don't have to be sorry for making me sad :P As I said, I appreciate any kind of feedback, be it positive or negative.

However, I do wish people would make suggestions to help improve the translation instead of just saying that something is wrong. I know the translation won't please everyone. But I don't know how to make it sound more exciting if there are no suggestions, whether there are many epic synonyms out there or not.

As you can see below (and in all the other documents uploaded so far), I've taken my time to correct everything people wanted me to correct. I looked at their suggestions, changed my translation accordingly or told them why I kept the translation as is.

Also, I don't see where I left out any commas...? Especially not in this document, where most of the sentences/clauses are separated by a full stop. Feel free to point out some examples so I can correct that. (I'm somewhat of a grammar nazi too, even if you might not think so. I even read [link] several times while translating everything whenever I was unsure whether to put a comma or not.)
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:iconlhmh:
lhmh Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2012
German translator likes metaphorical colors.
I would translate "Blood Bat" simply as "Blutfledermaus". There's no color in the english name. Same for "Coal Bat". Maybe use "Schattenfledermaus" or "Dunkle Fledermaus".

"A large predator which uses non-elemental attacks. Goes berserk if hit by a powerful attack." -> "Ein großes Raubtier. Benutzt neutrale Attacken. Verfällt in Raserei, wenn von einem mächtigen Angriff /einer mächtigen Attacke getroffen."
I like "Verfällt in Raserei"more, because the actual name of the status effect is in it, which makes it easier for the player. "erleiden" is not a good word for attacks. You get hit by attacks, you don't suffer them.
How about: "Ist gut darin, Attacken auszuweichen." for evade?

"hohe magische Abwehr" -> "hohe Magieresistenz"

"Böses Ende". I like that. As well as "Donnenblume".
"Kann Spieler gut lähmen" ->"Ist gut darin, Spieler zu lähmen" so the reference of "gut" is clear.

"Ein verfluchter Grabstein. Benutzt Schatten- und Giftattacken. Kann viele Statusprobleme auslösen."
Yes, yes - it's "status problems" in english. Nonetheless, it should be "Statuseffekte". The english sentence is wrong.
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:iconniwatorinatsukawa:
NiwatoriNatsukawa Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
- Fledermäuse: Heh, yes, I admit I do like metaphorical colors. Since I wanted to keep the "coal" somehow, I figured I would simply go with "kohlschwarz" and "blutrot". I also thought the names might sound nice. But alright, I will change the names to "Blutfledermaus" and "Schattenfledermaus".

- Raserei: Hmm, yeah, I thought about whether to use "verfällt in Raserei" or "wird rasend". The problem is the length. I did change "nach Erleiden einer mächtigen Attacke" to "wenn von einer mächtigen Attacke getroffen" however.

- Evade: Well, after Daikenkini's suggestion I changed it to "Ist schwer zu treffen". "Ist gut darin, Attacken auszuweichen" is a bit long. What if I change it to "Ist gut im Ausweichen"?

- Magische Abwehr: I will keep "magische Abwehr". Using "magischer Angriff" but "Magieresistenz" seems wrong.

- Böses Ende/Donnenblume: Aw, I'm glad that not everything seems to suck. XD Or was that irony...? Finding a translation for "Evil Tail" which didn't sound perverted was hard *cough*, though I myself still think Böses Ende sounds a bit silly.

- Lähmen: Changed.

- Statusprobleme: Mhmmm. I think it's fine to use Statusprobleme, in English as well as in German. This makes it more clear that negative status effects are caused. Nonetheless, I will change it. (Can you "heal" status effects or would you have to use another verb? Hm.)

Thanks a lot for your help! <3
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:iconlhmh:
lhmh Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
I noticed it in the equipment translation (I read that first). It does sound good in most cases, but not with the bats.

"Verfällt in Raserei" - I really like that one a lot more, because, as I said, the actual name of the status effect is in it. But sure, if it's too long, it can't be helped.

"Ist gut im Ausweichen" is good, but I wonder how you translate "above average evade" then, because "Ist überdurchschnittlich im Ausweichen" sounds to me like it has even more evade than the one with high evade (because the "gut" is only omitted - "Ist überdurchschnittlich gut im Ausweichen). Didn't notice that the first time I read it. "mittelmäßig" is pointless to even mention. "besser als die meisten" is most likely to long. Maybe just ignore it, and just use the same sentence as for high evade? I don't think the difference matters that much.

Yeah, you're right. It would be wrong to use "Magieresistenz".

No, no irony. I genuinely like them. Smiled when I read them. Especially because that tail in EBF2/3 was doing more damage than the head. Damn that thing.

As you said, negative status effects are caused. Shouldn't you say so, then? Why use a different word? It complicates things.
I'm not sure what you reference to with ""heal" status effects", but for a german translation I would go with "entfernen".

I'm glad I could help, really. And, all in all, your translation is pretty good.
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:iconlhmh:
lhmh Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
Oh, I see. "Statusprobleme" because of the negative status effects. I mixed that a little bit up. It's because there are positive ones... I kind of ignored that, I really thought all status effects were being removed. Ok, sure. Makes sense to me now. Sorry about the correction.
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:iconlhmh:
lhmh Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
And I'd like to edit this again. I know why you and Matt used "problems" now, so I'd correct it to
"Ein verfluchter Grabstein. Benutzt Schatten- und Giftattacken. Kann viele Statusprobleme zufügen."
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:iconniwatorinatsukawa:
NiwatoriNatsukawa Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
Tried to replace all instances of "rasend machen" with "in Raserei verfallen" since, admittedly, I prefer that expression as well. However, "Kann die Ziele in Raserei verfallen lassen" ("May berserk targets") for example would be a much longer sentence than the ones used in the other languages.

Also, I don't know how I should translate the Tanuki Dog's description then: "It uses fire attacks and can burn and berserk itself." (currently: "Kann sich selbst verbrennen und rasend machen"). Maybe I shouldn't cling to consistency so much...

Ack! Damn! You are right. I somehow thought "Has above-average evade" means that it has more evade than the one with "high evade" but that's utter nonsense of course.

I don't think there will be that much of a difference either and it's just one monster. Probably I will just write "Ist gut im Ausweichen" as you have suggested. Alternatively, I could translate it as "Ist nicht schlecht im Ausweichen".

God, don't remind me of how annoying that thing was...

I see! Sorry, sometimes I forget that people might not have read the other documents yet. The questions about whether to use "Statusprobleme heilen" or "Statusprobleme entfernen" referred to lines in the Skills document, but I see you already left a comment there :D

"Statusprobleme auslösen" seems more natural to me than "Statusprobleme zufügen". "Zufügen" is a verb I'd rather use with nouns such as "Schaden" or "Verletzungen" but not with "Statusprobleme". Maybe that one is just personal preference though (as is often the case). I'll ask other people to see what they prefer.

Thanks for the compliment! I hope you'll still think the translation is good after the dialogues are done :D The dialogues are the hardest part to translate so far, but that was to be expected.
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:iconlhmh:
lhmh Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
You already used a sentence which would work here as well at some other point ("Treibt den Spieler zufällig zur Raserei.")
"Kann die Ziele zur Raserei treiben."

For the dog: "Kann sich selbst verbrennen und in Raserei verfallen."

I'd just ignore the above-average evade and go with "Ist gut im Ausweichen". The difference is minmal.

"auslösen" vs "zufügen" - I can't come up with a rational explanation why I'd use one over the other either, so it probably really is just preference.

I look forward to that dialogue translation. *slightly evil grin*
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:iconniwatorinatsukawa:
NiwatoriNatsukawa Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
Ohh. That must have been a left-over from my previous attempts to use "Raserei" instead of "rasend". Awesome. Then I'll change the descriptions for the bears to "verfällt in Raserei". Changed all other instances to "zur Raserei treiben".

The description for the dog is still a bit long now... "Dieser Hund ist Alkoholiker. Benutzt Feuerattacken. Kann sich selbst in Brand setzen und zur Raserei treiben.". But I suppose it'll be okay.
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:iconniwatorinatsukawa:
NiwatoriNatsukawa Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
Whoops. It was Frostbrynger who suggested "Ist schwer zu treffen". I shouldn't write any comments when I'm only half awake anymore. I will simply change it to "Ist gut im Ausweichen". (And I really wish I could edit comments.)
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:iconalaesheziss:
AlaeSheziss Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
Beholder should be traduced as Contemplador in spanish.
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2012
We called it "Contemplador" at some point, but it sounded a bit to "pacific" for a monster, plus "Espectador" is the same name the Portuguese team used, so, we decided to go with that =P
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:iconcheckiton:
CheckitOn Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Also, there's no Portuguese for the "Wind Sprite" Just a last advice :3
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2012
They already fixed it ;)
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:iconcheckiton:
CheckitOn Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Hey Matt! Actually, I can see something wrong there... "Fluffy" in portuguese isn't "Fofo" it's "Peludo" or "Felpudo". Thanks for your attention :3
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:icondaikenkini:
Daikenkini Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
The german translation is REALLY boring, not exceeding basic German anywhere ...

Kinda disappointed with that.
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:iconniwatorinatsukawa:
NiwatoriNatsukawa Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
It's a bit sad to hear that you think the German translation is that boring. I'm trying my best to keep the lighthearted and funny tone of the original while still staying as close to it as possible.

But of course, if there's anything I can do to improve the translation, please tell me :D I'm open for any kind of suggestions.
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:iconzidalus:
Zidalus Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2012
There's no need to exceed basic German here, since no other language is exceeding any basic border in their own language. The translations are pretty close to their originals and don't sound too bad, given that the german language always sounds pretty corny when translated.
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:icontsukiyamaakiharu:
TsukiyamaAkiharu Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
The "Sludge Slime" translation to portuguese have grammar error, the correct word should be "Um inimigo fraco que pode se autodestruiR" and not "autodestruiT"

The same for "Frost Sprite" it's "USA ataques tipo gelo" not "ISA ataques tipo gelo". And "Evil Mushroom" description should be "QUE usa" and not "QE usa"

"Haunted Tree" should be translated as "Árvore Assombrada" and the description should be "Uma árvore[...]"

"Mighty Oak" should be described as "proteGe[...]" and not "proteJe".

I know these are some dumb corrections and i don't know if they're not going to be reviewed, but they can compromise your game. Also, i agree with those others comments below about portuguese translations.

By the way, thanks for making such a wonderful game and putting a lot of effort on it, we appreciate it a lot ^^
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:icondarkhappines:
darkhappines Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012  Professional
Very impressive
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:iconicedarkben:
IceDarkBen Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
French Translation :

Monsters are really well translated in french (especially the bats), but sometimes i can read some weird translation :

The sentence "can buff" shouldn't translate as "peut donner des buffs". It sounds really pompous.
Just use the verb "Buffer" : "Il peut buffer les autres ennemis"
(Actually, The word "buff" doesn't exist in french dictionnary, it's a gamer's vocabulary. So you might aswell use the verb wich doesn't exist in the dictionnary but still very used by the gamers)

@Friend Dog
"Chien copain" sound really really bad! Better to say "Chien amical" or "Chien de compagnie" or maybe "Chien fidèle"

@idols
Well insteads of "statuette" you could simply use the word "idole" wich also exist in french. Statuette has a more general meaning, so better use a more precise and magic-like word.

@cat soldier
"vaincre l'oppression sur son peuple" is really bad formulated. Better translate as "Un guerrier qui se bat pour libérer son peuple de l'oppression."

@Monolith
"extrêmement puissantes attaques" is litteraly translated from your english, but it sounds really ugly in french. "Utilise de terribles et puissantes attaques" is better.

@Sky Monolith
"Aérien" doesn't really means from the sky, plus it's an adjectif wich doesn't really suit with a monolith. "Monolithe céleste" is better.

@Slime
I already said it into the equipment's feedback but : Slime doesn't exist in french, even if it's a reference to Dragon Quest, they are called "Gluant" in the french version (wich is also the french translation of slime)

@Godcat
The translation is correct but why not "Chadieu"?
It's a pun wich means God Cat and "Farewell" (Adieu in french).


That's all!
I must admit, your french translator has some really good ideas finding good monsters/weapons' names. But tell him to be careful with the syntax of its expressions. (Not his fault, as a frenchie, I can tell you how the french language is hard)
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:iconfirstsurvivor:
FirstSurvivor Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
La plupart ont été corrigés :

Buffer pas mal partout

On aimait bien Chien Copain, mais je vais le changer pour chien amical...

Idoles à la place de statuettes

Changé la description de chat soldat

NON changé pour le monolithes. C'est suffisement courant et nous ne trouvons pas que ça sonne si mal en français.

Changé pour monolithe céleste

Changé pour gluant (Je dois avouer que le dernier Dragon Quest que j'ai joué était le premier, sur ma NES, en anglais)

Chadieu est encore en discussion. Pourquoi : Parce que c'est une femelle, parce que le nom est utilisé presque partout dans l'histoire et que l'on veut être certain de notre coup

Merci bien pour le feedback, juste pour mettre les choses au clair, nous sommes 7 traducteurs dont 5 actifs. S'il y a des fautes de syntax, n'hésite pas à les souligner.
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:iconicedarkben:
IceDarkBen Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Pas de problèmes!

Pour le chien copain, si je suis le seul à faire la remarque c'est peut-être juste moi le problème (je trouve que ça sonne vraiment idiot et enfantin en fait) N'hésitez pas à demander d'autres avis à ce propos du coup.

Par contre pour le "extrêmement puissantes attaques" Je suis certain que c'est une tournure incorrect, l'adverbe est ici utilisé comme un adjectif. Ca aurait été correct avec cette tournure : Des attaques extrêmement puissantes. C'est pour moi la plus grosse faute que j'ai relevé.

Cela dit, très beau boulot quand même! Bon courage pour le reste du travail!
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:iconfirstsurvivor:
FirstSurvivor Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Va pour des attaques extrêmement puissantes.
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:iconfirstsurvivor:
FirstSurvivor Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
*syntaxe
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:iconfft006:
fft006 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist
Some Spanish miss-translations. Whatever is between parentheses means to be redundant and has to be eliminated.

Defender:
"Un centinela robótico con órdenes de defender su posición..."

Tanuki Dog:
"... y enfurecerse a si mismo."

Black Dragon:
"... que usa (ataques) poderosos ataques tipo oscuridad."

Dish Tower:
"Una torre que fue diseñada..."
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
About the Black Dragon and Dish tower: ... Wooops! I missed those ^^;
About the Defender: Cool! I wasn't sure if what I used there was good enough, but, in any case, that sounds better =)
About the Tanuki Dog: It's not necesary, since the whole phrase is "se puede quemar y enfurecer a si mismo", so the "se" parte would be redundant =P
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:iconflickjovany:
flickjovany Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
I skimmed through most of the Spanish translation and it seems like it'll work out fine. The visuals should make any slight confusions obvious anyway. I will say that yea, I'm not exactly sure what a better Spanish translation for "holy" would be.
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:iconflickjovany:
flickjovany Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
crap i think I worded that wrong. I meant to say that the visuals should clear up any, if there even is any, slight confusions in the text.
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Don't worry =) And, good to know our translations are understandable :XD:
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:iconkallori:
Kallori Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds like quite the bestiary!
So frikkin' excited for the release!

STOP TAUNTING US AND FINISH IT!!!!
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:iconadispark:
adispark Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Interface Designer
So flippin EXCITED
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:iconzxsora:
ZXSora Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Wind sprite has no third name
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:icon7soul1:
7Soul1 Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Silly kupo uploaded this moments before I added the translation to that
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:iconzxsora:
ZXSora Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
I.......see.......
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
Well, stuff happens ^^;
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:iconasnoddy:
asnoddy Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I DONT GET IT!
THERE IS NO TEXT!
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2012
That happened to me on Internet Explorer. If you have something like Google Chrome, use that and you'll be able to see it =D
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:iconasnoddy:
asnoddy Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Im using firefox...
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:iconflamerxmagofire:
FlamerXMagofire Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2012
Then I dunno... dA is having issues, though. It could be that as well... I'm sure it works on Google Chrome (Or at least for me), so, give it a quick try if you can. :shrug:
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